I Wish They Were Over

Sinfully catchy dance-poppers Metro Station have a new single, "I Wish You Were Older," and a new video to match. Their videos have a habit of being fairly awful - with the "Hey There Delilah" vibe of "Kelsey" being their best effort and the dance battle of "Shake It" being the worst - and this one falls right to the bottom of a highly disappointing list. Keep an eye out for the dirt bikers in the background -- at a carnival? This is gold. Or silver. Or, you know, a really crappy video.



What's even more disappointing is that when I went to embed the video from the band's official YouTube account, I found that embedding was disabled. Either whomever runs the account knows that the video is awful and is trying to save the band some online mockery, or somebody needs to calm down. Embedding videos is how these things get passed around. Honestly, you can't usually attain viral status for something that can't be reposted.

Whomever is responsible for all of these issues needs to be fired, pronto.

Save the Karaoke for Carlos O'Kelly's

Karaoke is one of those words you automatically want to run from. Seeing the letters k-a-r in close proximity is usually a sign that you need to be running in the opposite direction as fast as you can. Because no matter how much people pretend to enjoy it, karaoke is no good for anyone. Even professional singers become pitchy and obnoxious the second they hobble drunkenly to a karaoke machine, ready to belt "Livin' On a Prayer" like it's the last song on Earth.

This is why I cannot for the life of me understand how people can enjoy seeing bands that perform solely as karaoke acts.

Oh sure, they've written all the music themselves. It's original material, just on an iPod. Who needs to play instruments when you've got Garage Band? Just plug in your formula and BAM! It's time to sing along.

Last night I saw Ministry of Magic headline the Bryn Mawr Yule Ball. They are a boy band who sing about a boy wizard to extremely catchy dance beats - the only problem is that they do it karaoke style. Asses shaking, iPod blaring through the PA system, they're ready to entertain.

And the crowd loves it, they honestly do. Who am I to begrudge a wizard rock band well-earned popularity? I just wish they would sit down with some instruments and make it real. If you could be playing the CD and get the same effect, why have a concert at all? Just have a real dance party and let everyone sing along.

I have seen the band perform acoustic, and I have to say I like that much better. Give them a guitar and a chance to build some quieter harmonies and they do a really nice job. That's not to say their dance beats aren't great, it's just a personal preference (and a total bias; everyone knows I'm an acoustic whore).

The show as a whole was great and the band had some great energy that the crowd ate up. I'd just love to see the whole thing repeated with some guitars and keyboards instead of MacBooks. A girl can dream, right?

Maybe I Will Like This Song

YouTube is a great website to do a lot of things. Watch dogs on skateboards. Find out what a fourteen year old girl in Alaska had for lunch. Watch clips of the O.C. set to bad high school graduation music. And yet YouTube is still somehow a hotbed for Internet activity.

Perhaps it's because, underneath all of this gross hustle & bustle, people with real talent inexplicably find their way to the site and showcase interesting thoughts and talents.

Take Julia Nunes for instance, known on the site as jaaaaaaa. She plays ukulele and occasionally guitar, along with auxilary percussion (slinkies?). Her voice is unique and though she's gained a lot of popularity for playing ukulele covers of popular songs like "Build Me Up, Buttercup" and "God Only Knows," her original material is fantastic and well worth the listen.



That's "Maybe I Will," from her sophomore album I Wrote These. Catchy, eh? So don't give up on the Internet just yet. There are still plenty of gems hiding out there if you only look hard enough.

A New Kind of Cola War

Once upon a time, Dr. Pepper promised they'd give away a ton of their crappy soft drinks if Guns N' Roses released Chinese Democracy in 2008. Seeing as the album hadn't been released for the past 17 years, Dr. Pepper wasn't too worried. So when Chinese Democracy came out in November, it was time to make good on that promise.

Dr. Pepper did, they weren't completely stupid. They put up a coupon for a free drink on their web site, only the catch was you had to print it within 24 hours to get your complimentary goods.

Guns N' Roses apparently felt they weren't living up to their end of the bargain. So naturally, they took it to the courts.

Here's where it gets really ridiculous, though: CNN.com wrote an article about the whole affair, and the language is truly criminal. The following sentence is without a doubt the worst offender:

"That's when GN'R became GN'RN'L. Soriano fired off a letter to Dr P. No one is LOL."

I can't put into words how frightening it is that sentences like that get published by "reputable" news outlets. And people claim bloggers aren't journalists. That's just ridiculous.

This whole situation is full of fail. Fail for Dr. Pepper's coupon mess. Fail for Guns N' Roses taking it to the courts. And epic fail for CNN, who loses more credibility with every passing moment.

Let's Get Keytarded

I have recently fallen in love with the keytar. I know, I know: love for an eighties instrument combining a keyboard and guitar is fairly criminal. But think of the synth beats, the untapped potential of a dying instrument! Because it is dying. Unlike the ukulele and melodica, which are regularly cropping up on YouTube to great fanfare, the keytar is already dead and nobody's bothering to attend the funeral.

However, there are a few bands out there keeping the keytar love alive. MuteMath is probably my favorite of the lot, with their ridiculous energy that translates into epic live performances and great videos like this, wherein a keytar gets totally dismantled.



Unfortunately for me and the other two dozen keytar lovers out there, the instruments are devilishly hard to get a hold of. eBay is the best bet, but a red Yamaha SHS-10 goes easily for over $200, and the instrument is really only worth around $50.

The moral of this story? If you find a keytar, get it: it'll be worth something one day. And have faith in the odd instruments, because they really do have something unique to offer.

Double the Grammy Awards - Bad Idea

The Grammy Awards is one of the most well-known televised award shows, happening each year to great media fanfare and poor ratings. If nothing else, it gives the blogosphere something to talk about - almost every music blogger out there currently has Grammy opinions available for your perusal and derision.

This year, perhaps to boost attention for the show after a lacklust 50th anniversary, a special televised concert was held to announce the nominees.

Yes, you read that right: they held an hour-long concert to announce the nominees. Just in case the winner's concert each year wasn't enough for you!

I didn't have the time or attention to sit through such an atrocity, but the general consensus online seems to be that this show was totally uncalled for. The musicians featured weren't the ones being nominated and an hour is far too long to spend finding out nominations for awards that won't be given out until February.

Missing the nominee concert is no big deal; music fans can watch the best clips on YouTube and then proceed to do what they do best: bitch about the nominees.

Happy Grammy season, everyone.

How To Make a List

Everyone makes an end-of-year list. Count down your favorite bands, songs, albums, videos, you name it - there's a list for it somewhere. Many lists, actually. And most of them completely suck.

That's why it's great that Pretty Much Amazing created a guide to making the best of a bad tradition. Chris Barth gives an excellent list of commandments including "Thou shalt not confuse a great track with a great album" and the bold "Thou shalt not number thy list."

As Barth writes, "Year End Lists are like chicken pox, taxes, and those Frank TV ads - unavoidable. And in many ways, that’s great. Just remember, all ye makers of lists, that with great power comes great responsibility."

So if you're contemplating making your own list, do so with caution and take his suggestions to heart. Wouldn't the world be a little better if best-of lists actually spotlighted the best music? What a nice thought.

Hello Saferide Has Dancing Shoes On

Last year, a friend of mine who is now the Music Director for WGMU introduced me to a quirky Swedish performer called Hello Saferide. I fell in love with "My Best Friend" and have been hooked every since.

Being hooked is a good thing, as she's got a new single and a video to go with it.



"X Telling Me About The Loss Of Something Dear, At Age 16" is a low-budget-looking awkward-dance video reminscent of old OK GO. The sparkling, purple suits that make an appearance halfway through make the whole thing worth it. That and the greatness of the song, of course.

The rapidfire ending is very cute and very fun. It seems as though music videos can only go to extremes these days, though... they're either simple (and usually fun) or very intricate and complicated (and often overdramatic).

I think the simple is winning me over. There's just something charming in simplicity.

If you don't have More Modern Short Stories From Hello Saferide, I highly recommend the purchase.